Weight Loss...It's More Than Just The Lbs Pt 3. Look In The Mirror

Last time we talked about our emotions, how we feel, and deal with how we feel. Now it's time to focus on our mind and how we think about ourselves. Our thoughts have a tremendous impact on our behaviors, what we believe dictates our actions. If, in our minds, we think we can't; if we think this is how we'll be forever, then that sets the ceiling for what we can do. So, before we can attack the weight on our bodies we have to attack the thoughts in our minds.

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Do You Love Yourself?

For some people this is one of those "dumb questions" that they act like they didn't hear; but for many this is a real and true issue and the core of their struggle with their weight. I personally don't understand how someone can say they love themselves and turn around and do things that are self-destructive. To me it's almost like saying "My life is worth living" and then committing suicide. When you start to love yourself you start to cut out things in your life that are harmful to you. This includes people, places, things, and bad habits. You start to recognize that you are more that worth it and more than deserving of the best that life has to offer you. You stop settling for anything that is less than that. When you decide that you are worth it you can strive toward your goal no matter what obstacles come your way. As you start on your weight loss journey there are going to be people who want to see you fail, who are just waiting for you to slip up. They send negativity your way to try and knock you off of your path but if you love yourself and are determined to better yourself, you will be so grounded that their negativity won't be able to rock you. There are going to be times when you mess up or you don't see the results when you expect to see them. If you have accepted yourself just the way you are set-backs and slow change won't deter you because you will realize that it's not just about the lbs, it's about being the best you that you can be and that isn't simply about how you look on the outside. At the end of the day your self-improvement has to radiate from the inside out and as you change the way you think about yourself on the inside you will see changes on the outside. It may not be the exact change you expected but when you are grounded in who you are you will be satisfied with what you see. 

Personal Moment: I always knew I was supposed to love myself, but I didn't. I hated everything about myself physically and in other areas as well. I blamed God for who I was. Then, I got some really good advice. Someone told me to wake up every day, look at myself in the mirror, and tell myself I'm beautiful. I took this advice a step further and stripped away everything I used to make myself beautiful: clothes, hair, make-up, everything and I looked at myself, naked, no make-up, hair undone...flaws and all. I challenged myself to love myself and be okay with myself just the way I was. If I never lost a pound, if my hair never was all done up, if for some reason I could never wear make up again, I had to come to terms that I would still be okay. It wasn't until I mastered this that I could begin to change.

You have to love yourself , you have to know that your are worth it. In order to get to this place you have to identify what it is that you don't like about yourself and understand why you reject those parts of you. Once you overcome this the sky is the limit for you. In my weight loss journey one of my biggest obstacles was working out. Not because I couldn't do it, I just didn't want people to see me sweaty and out of breath. Can you believe this ridiculousness???  I wanted to lose weight, I knew I needed to exercise, sweating and heavy breathing are a byproduct of exercise but I didn't want to sweat or breathe heavy. It was because I was so insecure and worried about how others would perceive me. Once I started to love myself, I came to the conclusion that I was worth too much to myself to be unhealthy just because I didn't want people to see me sweat. I decided that I was going to work out as hard as possible, even if people had to see me drenched in sweat. And even if people talked about me or judged me, I was ok because it was all for me and not for them. Their opinions held no weight in comparison to my decisions. And, as you can imagine those super sweaty workouts resulted in some serious weight loss. Do not allow your insecurities to hold you back, challenge yourself, push yourself, and you will achieve greatness.

I hope that you are enjoying the series this far, please come back for the next and final installment!

Have you struggled with loving yourself, are you currently struggling with this issue? Have any questions, comments, or concerns? Leave it all below, I would love to hear from you.

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You have to love yourself to get anything done in this world" Lucille Ball

Weight Loss...It's More Than Just The Lbs Pt 2-Emotional Weight

Sometimes our emotional, psychological, and mental issues can show up as physical symptoms. For example, stress can show up as headaches or body pain, nervousness can show up as nausea or stomach pain. In the same way our struggles with weight loss can be connected to an emotional issue that hasn't been addressed yet. In this case we need to release our emotional demons before we can expect to see any physical change.

                              Picture Source: http://robedirobrob.deviantart.com/                                         
So what do I mean by emotional demons? Some people have experienced traumatic situations in their life that they have never processed or work through. Abuse, loss, grief, hurts, these are just some examples of trauma. When we experience trauma our brain literally changes forever. Our view of the world is warped and our interactions with others are shifted. Oftentimes we can't see the shift or connect it to our traumatic experiences. For some, additional weight or overeating can be a protective measure that unconsciously prevents us from experiencing the trauma again. Before we can seriously tackle the weight we have to identify and work through experiences of trauma.
 Others deal with past and present relationship wounds that have never been healed. Some examples of relationship wounds are betrayal by a loved one, being abandoned by a parent, and consistently being let down or disappointed. When we experience hurt in a relationship but do not give ourselves the freedom to validate that hurt we can hold a grudge. Holding on to grudges can be like holding on to weight. Until we are able to forgive and release a person's hold on our lives we will never be able to release the lbs. 
Still, others of us walk around weighed down by emotional baggage. Every single day each and every one of up have a variety of experiences that can take us through a variety of emotions both good and bad. We NEED an outlet for these feelings and emotions. We need to be emotionally supported and to know that someone cares for our emotional well being. When we don't have access to such outlets we can become overwhelmed.There are too many of us who do not have a healthy and safe way to let out our feelings and emotions. As a result these feelings become a sack of burdens that become heavier and heavier as time goes on, just like we become heavier and heavier as we pack on the lbs. The defining moment could be trusting someone to help us carry the burden. This is not an easy task, I know first hand. It's almost like a work out in and of itself. But the more we practice, the more we work on it, the easier it becomes. Just like physical exercise and weight loss. But before we can work out our bodies we need to work out our emotions. 

If you read the previous post you got a decent introduction to my weight loss struggle. (If you haven't read it, take a moment to check it out!) You saw that my emotional transformation began during grad school. I believe I dealt with all of the issues listed above. It was NOT an easy process. But I can be a witness that the emotional process that occurred behind the scenes was the foundation that created the physical transformation that everyone has been able to see. 

I hope that you will stay tuned for the next part of the series which will focus on how we view ourselves and the real reason we desire to lose weight.

What do you think about "emotional weight?" Is it something you deal with? Questions, comments, concerns....drop it below or use the Q&A link.

"I don't want to be at the mercy of my own emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them" Oscar Wilde

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