Know Your Worth: Know the Signs

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The first step in creating positive self-worth is acknowledging that you have a low sense of self worth. For some the signs are obvious and dots are easy to connect, other signs don't point directly to self worth but they are still a burden to bear. Let's highlight some direct and indirect signs of low self worth.

Thinking Negatively About Self

• Every single one of us has faults, myself included, but we also have strengths as well. A healthy and well balanced person is aware of their strengths as well as their weaknesses and is always looking towards growth and forward progress. A person with low self worth is constantly criticizing themselves. In their eyes the negatives grossly outweigh the positives. They are their own worst critic. Instead of working to overcome their faults, they choose to swim in a pool of self pity and doubt. They are stuck in a mindset that they are no good and trapped in a pattern of self destruction.

In-congruence of Self

• What does this mean? Basically that the "you" that is presented to others doesn't match the true "you." This can be seen in character traits. For example, someone may present in public as rough, tough, and unbreakable but their true self is soft, caring, and emotional. The in-congruence can also be evident in the decisions that we make. For example, someone who always gives in to what others wants from them, even in times when it is appropriate for them to put themselves first. A person with low self worth is not confident in who they truly are so they become someone else in order to feel more confident, they become the person they feel is worthy when in actuality who they are is good enough.

Relationship Woes

• How many of use find ourselves in same relationship over and over again. I don't mean with the same person; what I'm referring to is we constantly find ourselves in the same situation constantly wondering how we got here...AGAIN! It's true that we attract what we project. If we feel low about ourselves, if we have a negative self worth, we will project that and others will pick up on it whether consciously or unconsciously. Oftentimes people with low self worth attract people who lack confidence and use the one with low self worth to validate themselves. This only adds to the negative cycle that strips you of your worthiness. If you find yourself constantly in bad relationships; it's possible that regardless of your experience, All Men and All Women are not    (Fill in the blank here)   . It is possible that it is time to stop looking outward an looking inside in order to create a different experience. 

Stuck in an Undesired Situation

• When you can recognize that you're at a place you don't want to be but never take any steps to move out of that place, it is possible that you have a low sense of self worth. Those with a low sense of self worth do not believe that they are deserving of the best that life has for them. They are content with settling for less that what they are worthy of. They become comfortable with what is mediocre instead of striving for what is excellent. They begin to unknowingly self-sabotage so that they can remain where they are. This may be a dead-end job, an unhealthy relationship, or just a failure to experience the best that life has to offer.

These are just a few indicators that point to a low sense of self worth. There are definitely others that can be added and of course, experiencing any one of these is not a direct indicator that one has a poor self worth. Signs point you in a direction but it is up to you to follow the signs to understand the end destination.

I hope this has been as helpful for you as it has been for me. Trust me when I say I have learned so much just through typing this and I am so exited to continue bringing you content on this topic.

Let Me Know: What are some other signs that we can add to this list? How do you personally determine if you or someone you know is struggling with poor self worth?

Coming Up: The Challenge!

"Your perspective in life comes from the cage you were held hostage in"~ Shannon L. Adler

Weight Loss...It's More Than Just The Lbs Pt 3. Look In The Mirror

Last time we talked about our emotions, how we feel, and deal with how we feel. Now it's time to focus on our mind and how we think about ourselves. Our thoughts have a tremendous impact on our behaviors, what we believe dictates our actions. If, in our minds, we think we can't; if we think this is how we'll be forever, then that sets the ceiling for what we can do. So, before we can attack the weight on our bodies we have to attack the thoughts in our minds.

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Do You Love Yourself?

For some people this is one of those "dumb questions" that they act like they didn't hear; but for many this is a real and true issue and the core of their struggle with their weight. I personally don't understand how someone can say they love themselves and turn around and do things that are self-destructive. To me it's almost like saying "My life is worth living" and then committing suicide. When you start to love yourself you start to cut out things in your life that are harmful to you. This includes people, places, things, and bad habits. You start to recognize that you are more that worth it and more than deserving of the best that life has to offer you. You stop settling for anything that is less than that. When you decide that you are worth it you can strive toward your goal no matter what obstacles come your way. As you start on your weight loss journey there are going to be people who want to see you fail, who are just waiting for you to slip up. They send negativity your way to try and knock you off of your path but if you love yourself and are determined to better yourself, you will be so grounded that their negativity won't be able to rock you. There are going to be times when you mess up or you don't see the results when you expect to see them. If you have accepted yourself just the way you are set-backs and slow change won't deter you because you will realize that it's not just about the lbs, it's about being the best you that you can be and that isn't simply about how you look on the outside. At the end of the day your self-improvement has to radiate from the inside out and as you change the way you think about yourself on the inside you will see changes on the outside. It may not be the exact change you expected but when you are grounded in who you are you will be satisfied with what you see. 

Personal Moment: I always knew I was supposed to love myself, but I didn't. I hated everything about myself physically and in other areas as well. I blamed God for who I was. Then, I got some really good advice. Someone told me to wake up every day, look at myself in the mirror, and tell myself I'm beautiful. I took this advice a step further and stripped away everything I used to make myself beautiful: clothes, hair, make-up, everything and I looked at myself, naked, no make-up, hair undone...flaws and all. I challenged myself to love myself and be okay with myself just the way I was. If I never lost a pound, if my hair never was all done up, if for some reason I could never wear make up again, I had to come to terms that I would still be okay. It wasn't until I mastered this that I could begin to change.

You have to love yourself , you have to know that your are worth it. In order to get to this place you have to identify what it is that you don't like about yourself and understand why you reject those parts of you. Once you overcome this the sky is the limit for you. In my weight loss journey one of my biggest obstacles was working out. Not because I couldn't do it, I just didn't want people to see me sweaty and out of breath. Can you believe this ridiculousness???  I wanted to lose weight, I knew I needed to exercise, sweating and heavy breathing are a byproduct of exercise but I didn't want to sweat or breathe heavy. It was because I was so insecure and worried about how others would perceive me. Once I started to love myself, I came to the conclusion that I was worth too much to myself to be unhealthy just because I didn't want people to see me sweat. I decided that I was going to work out as hard as possible, even if people had to see me drenched in sweat. And even if people talked about me or judged me, I was ok because it was all for me and not for them. Their opinions held no weight in comparison to my decisions. And, as you can imagine those super sweaty workouts resulted in some serious weight loss. Do not allow your insecurities to hold you back, challenge yourself, push yourself, and you will achieve greatness.

I hope that you are enjoying the series this far, please come back for the next and final installment!

Have you struggled with loving yourself, are you currently struggling with this issue? Have any questions, comments, or concerns? Leave it all below, I would love to hear from you.

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You have to love yourself to get anything done in this world" Lucille Ball