Weight Loss...It's More Than Just The Lbs Pt 2-Emotional Weight

Sometimes our emotional, psychological, and mental issues can show up as physical symptoms. For example, stress can show up as headaches or body pain, nervousness can show up as nausea or stomach pain. In the same way our struggles with weight loss can be connected to an emotional issue that hasn't been addressed yet. In this case we need to release our emotional demons before we can expect to see any physical change.

                              Picture Source: http://robedirobrob.deviantart.com/                                         
So what do I mean by emotional demons? Some people have experienced traumatic situations in their life that they have never processed or work through. Abuse, loss, grief, hurts, these are just some examples of trauma. When we experience trauma our brain literally changes forever. Our view of the world is warped and our interactions with others are shifted. Oftentimes we can't see the shift or connect it to our traumatic experiences. For some, additional weight or overeating can be a protective measure that unconsciously prevents us from experiencing the trauma again. Before we can seriously tackle the weight we have to identify and work through experiences of trauma.
 Others deal with past and present relationship wounds that have never been healed. Some examples of relationship wounds are betrayal by a loved one, being abandoned by a parent, and consistently being let down or disappointed. When we experience hurt in a relationship but do not give ourselves the freedom to validate that hurt we can hold a grudge. Holding on to grudges can be like holding on to weight. Until we are able to forgive and release a person's hold on our lives we will never be able to release the lbs. 
Still, others of us walk around weighed down by emotional baggage. Every single day each and every one of up have a variety of experiences that can take us through a variety of emotions both good and bad. We NEED an outlet for these feelings and emotions. We need to be emotionally supported and to know that someone cares for our emotional well being. When we don't have access to such outlets we can become overwhelmed.There are too many of us who do not have a healthy and safe way to let out our feelings and emotions. As a result these feelings become a sack of burdens that become heavier and heavier as time goes on, just like we become heavier and heavier as we pack on the lbs. The defining moment could be trusting someone to help us carry the burden. This is not an easy task, I know first hand. It's almost like a work out in and of itself. But the more we practice, the more we work on it, the easier it becomes. Just like physical exercise and weight loss. But before we can work out our bodies we need to work out our emotions. 

If you read the previous post you got a decent introduction to my weight loss struggle. (If you haven't read it, take a moment to check it out!) You saw that my emotional transformation began during grad school. I believe I dealt with all of the issues listed above. It was NOT an easy process. But I can be a witness that the emotional process that occurred behind the scenes was the foundation that created the physical transformation that everyone has been able to see. 

I hope that you will stay tuned for the next part of the series which will focus on how we view ourselves and the real reason we desire to lose weight.

What do you think about "emotional weight?" Is it something you deal with? Questions, comments, concerns....drop it below or use the Q&A link.

"I don't want to be at the mercy of my own emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them" Oscar Wilde

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New Year New Me

"New Year, New Me"

Okay,Okay, I can sense the collective groan that everyone has after reading the title. Weeks before the new year hits everyone flocks to social media to inform everyone of their plans to make a complete 360 (really 180 but I digress) once the clock strikes 12:00AM.  But, by January 2nd everyone has lost the motivation and the phrase "New Year, New Me" has lost all of it's value. So how do we reclaim the phrase or the idea that we are completely capable of making the long lasting changes that we want in life? By doing what we set out to do in the first place. I know, I know, it's easier said than done. But as someone who has failed miserably AND succeeded wonderfully at making life changes allow me to share two tips for achieving the goals that we set for ourselves.

Remember, it doesn't matter when you start or how many times you fall off track, you're striving for completion not perfection. One of the things that bothers me the most about how people set goals is their decision to set a start date i.e. "The beginning of next month" or "In the New Year." Setting our start dates in this way limits us and allows us to push our goals back more and more. Once the next month hits we push it back another month. Reality: the minute you decide you want to make a change in your life you are capable of beginning that journey. If you're goal is to loose 20 pounds you can sit down that day and figure out  your plan of action. If you want to save money you can look at your spending and determine where you can start cutting back, immediately. We often set these far away start dates and then...well you know what they say "Out of sight out of mind." Whether you have the vision for change in on February 12th, December 28th, or January 17th, don't limit your self to the "New Year," get started ASAP. And be aware that you will not be perfect, things will not always go the way you planned. BUT, remember that no matter how many times you mess up you are always capable of getting started again. And if you happen to take a detour, you don't have to wait until the first of the month (or year) to get going again. Just like you don't have to push back your start date you don't have to push back your re-start date either.

  "Never put off for tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well"~ Mark Twain

Keep in mind that true strength doesn't come in one's ability to stand alone but instead in the acceptance of our flaws and our courage to reach out for support in the areas where we fall short. As I type these thoughts of mine I recognize that this is such a huge pill to swallow. I myself struggle with being vulnerable enough to admit that I am incapable of doing EVERYTHING myself. Instead of accepting a helping hand I would rather flail about and fail on my own. If this is my experience I'm sure that this is many other's experience as well. Reality: we all need help! As we set these goals for ourselves we have to seek out networks of support that can encourage us, hold us accountable, and achieve goals with us. Now identifying these supports is a daunting task. We all have those people in our lives who look like our cheerleaders but are only out opponents in disguise. Those who cheer us on while secretly concocting a plan to knock us down. Then there are those who are all for starting the journey with us and then at some point we look around and realize they have disappeared. Or what about when we finally decide that we want to achieve a goal and we get so excited about our new journey but no one else is on board. I get it, finding a good support system is tough. But there are ways to weed out those undesirables before they leave us standing alone. There is nothing wrong with "interviewing" your supports to make sure they're in it for the long haul and just as excited for your success as you are. And, with the help of the internet, social networks, and phone apps, we can seek out interest and support groups who are working towards the same things we are. Also, remember that just as we need support to reach our goals, there are others who are looking for support to reach theirs. Sometimes if we can be that support to others we will unintentionally find the support we need. At the end of the day, if achieving our goals is that important to us we will take the time to make sure we have  a team that can help us get to the finish line. 

"I am because we are"~ Africa Proverb

I hope that these two tips are beneficial as you enter the New Year with new goals and hopes for yourself. What has been helpful for you in reaching your goals in the past? What are some of your goals for 2015? Thank you for taking the time to stop by, questions, comments, all of the above...share it below. If this was helpful share it with a friend and I'll see you in the next post.