Know Your Worth~ Getting Started

Source: Sprite.com

This popular lyric from the rapper Drake has been stuck in my head for a while. Always popping in at the most random times. Not because the beat is catchy but because I often need to remind myself to "Know My Worth," or I see people stuck in situations where the don't "Know Their Worth," OR I see some of out most praised celebrities acting in ways that clearly signal a lack of self worth. What I was going to do was have an entire series focused on "Know Your Worth," but as I type this intro I think I am having a change of heart. Instead of doing back to back posts, there will be some posts that I do that fall under the heading "Know Your Worth." I believe we live in a day and age where it is easy to lose sight of our worth. We constantly hold up a measuring stick comparing ourselves to others and when we fall short our sense of self worth drops too. The media and pop culture provides us with an image of what life is supposed to look like when in reality the average person cannot attain that lifestyle. Some of us have people in our lives who's comments and "suggestions" are more hurtful than helpful and make us feel worse about ourselves that we should. And finally, some of us are our own worst enemies. We beat ourselves down and critique ourselves to the point where we can't see the good that others see in us. Regardless of why; when we don't "Know Our Worth," we act in ways the rob the world of the chance to see the unique greatness that lies in each and every one of us. We accept WAY less than we deserve and act in ways that cause people to see us as something we are not.  I hope that every "Know Your Worth" post is encouraging, motivating, and empowering and challenges any messages that tell us we are not worth it. 


Let Me Know: What do you think are the top contributors to a lack of self worth? Got any examples? 

Coming Up Next: "Know the Signs" What behaviors indicate a low sense of self worth?

As always feel free to comment you experience, ask your questions, and share with friends. I really want to know what YOU think. Thanks for stopping by!

"Self worth comes from one thing- Thinking that you are worthy"~Wayne Dyer

Weight loss...It's More Than Just The Lbs. Pt 4: Know Your History

Source: http://www.vanderbilt.edu/

As a family therapist one of our most used tools is a genogram. A genogram is basically a family tree and it's one of my favorite tools. Why? Because a genogram doesn't just show who's in the family but patterns throughout generations such as abuse, drug use, financial struggles, parenting choices and anything else you can think of. Oftentimes families don't realize these patterns, how far they go back, and how much of an impact the past has on the present. Understanding the past is also an important step in the weight loss process. 
Consider a family that uses food to console each other. Each time someone is sad, disappointed, angry, or stressed a plate of comfort food is shoved in their face? Or how about a family where an extra ten dollars at the end of the week means a an extra tasty treat from the grocery store? What about families that have a reoccurring pattern of laziness, those that make every excuse in the book about why they can't walk around the block, lift a weight, or hop on the treadmill to better themselves. These are unhealthy and debilitating patterns that seem simple on the surface but take a closer look and you'll see how deeply ingrained they are and what a tremendous barrier they are in preventing us from achieving the growth and change we want to see. We have to recognize, understand, and change these patterns before we see any physical change. Now, I'm about to take it  step further but stay with me.

Let's go deep
I want to consider an even deeper generational pattern that can have a hold on us as it relates to this issue. As a black woman I'm going to speak on the black experience but any race can benefit from this perspective. 
Slavery has had a tremendous impact on the black experience, especially how we eat. During slavery, black slaves were given whatever was left after their masters ate the best of the best. Some of the food was spoiled or it was the parts that no one else wanted...like pig intestines (But I digress). This was all we had so we learned to survive on it. Learned how to season it up really well, oftentimes with seasonings that are detrimental to our health but necessary to preserve the food. These eating habits were passed from generation to generation and have come to be a defining cultural norm. Now I'm not suggesting that we all give up our soul food for good, but we have to take into consideration a loyalty to food at the expense of our health and well being. We are worth more than high blood pressure, cardiac arrest, heart attacks, and clogged arteries; which are issues that black people out rank other races in. We as a people have to do better.
So here is another perspective. As a result of slavery and Jim Crow Blacks were taught that we are inferior and that there were certain privileges that are set aside for Whites. As a result we now have white privilege where we as black people accept that whites are more deserving of certain things than we are. But in this day and age, instead of acknowledging this privilege we accept it and use it as a way to look down on others.  When I'm in a group of other black people and we see healthy food or a unique way of working out the comment is always "That's for white people," or "That's a white thing." Because the pattern of thinking that has been passed from generation to generation is that good health and taking care of ourselves are reserved for the privileged in our community, the Whites. This is a deeply rooted issue and we need to understand it's impact on us before were can truly take care of our bodies.

I had to go there for a moment, I had to go deep, because this is a deep issue, it's more than just about the Lbs. When we get a basic understanding of our root issue we can begin to make changes that will be visible on the surface. So here is some homework for you, yes I said homework. Look at your own family tree, try to identify food, eating, and health patterns in the generations. Look at diseases and illnesses, talk to your family and understand the patterns so you can be aware of what you're up against.

So, we have made it to the final installment of this series on weight loss. I hope that this series has been beneficial to you and than you keep coming back for the other topics I'll post on. Please share a comment or question on this specific post and if there are any topics you would like to hear me address or questions that you want my perspective on please visit the Q&A page. 

... no human being is master of his fate, and ... we are all motivated far more than we care to admit by characteristics inherited from our ancestors which individual experiences of childhood can modify, repress, or enhance, but cannot erase-Agnes E. Meyer